Monday, April 26, 2010


I'm in a dark hole that I am digging further and further into.
Went for a hike on Saturday, and despite many AMAZING photos, and good company, the one thing that is sticking in my brain are the (earth-shattering-reality-bringing) images of me on the video that D took.
I'm a ginormous fat blob.
I can't believe I let myself get like this.
I weeble.  I wobble. 
And I was fucking sore yesterday.  After a WALK. 
And I'm totally stuck in a job that perpetuates my lifestyle of sitting at home, eating, and being depressed.  And not having enough time for myself - despite a clear need.

I'm officially too depressed at the moment to be insightful. ...

to be continued...... 

ps.  I posted this to reach out to anyone who may feel like this at times too. You're never alone. And neither am I. Sorry for the uber depressing nature, but it happens to all of us from time to time.


  1. We just got back from Mexico and I was flipping through some old pictures of when we went there on our honeymoon 4 years ago! All I can say is O my - how did this happen? I totally hear you.

    I would like to do IVF in the fall and the doc told me I need to loose 50lbs! So I suppose now is a great time to start for me... *Shudders*

    Thinking of you!

  2. You are not alone. We are all here for you!

  3. You are not alone. I know that we only know each other from Twitter and our blogs but I love you and I feel that we are kindred spirits <3 You are amazing and I, for one, think that you are incredibly beautiful inside and out.

  4. I'm starting a fitness challenge tomorrow after the same realization....gahh

  5. You ladies are my saving grace.

  6. Hey Nat. Glad your back. Sorry you were in such a funk. It happens to all of us. I hope you do not feel its just you. I miss you when I do not see all of your tweets on twitter everyday. Keep writing. It helps:-) XOXOXOXO



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