Wishful thinking....

I've settled into a sort of strange mental cave, driven to spark a change but still physically restricted.
I'm learning to let my brain & my fingers help me imagine what I will do once my knee gets better...

Let me share some of my wishful thinking.

D and I wish to go out into the country to roast a turkey on an open fire for Thanksgiving (for my American readers, Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up this weekend!)

The venue yet undecided, I just want to see trees.  I have no stipulations, just nature & more nature. And a comfy chair by the fire & cozy blanket ;)
The fewer humans the better (other than our immediate posse).

I wish my parents would want to roast a turkey with us.
I'll leave it at this. I'm not even going to open this can of worms during this post....
lets leave the family drama outta it...... 
 
But more than that, I wish that we had a family of our own to take.

I long to see vibrant autumn reds, smell the smoky crisp air, feel the fingertips of October chill on my cheek & snuggle in warmth of my cozy fall layers.

I long for hayrides, corn mazes, face painting and apple bobbing.

I long for a tradition of picking & carving pumpkins, striving for the most ghoulish, glowing gaze. Roasting seeds. Pies.

What do you long for? What are your family traditions for Thanksgiving?

One other thing I long for? Sharing. Caring. Togetherness.

My Newest Distraction

I've been kind of out of circulation on Twitter today and yesterday because, in addition to my severe Dexter addiction, I have also re-started an old project that I began when I first quit smoking about 7-8 weeks ago. (so kicking myself in the pants for not noting that exact date now! I really didn't think that it would stick... ) I knew right off that I would need to find something to do with my hands (keep your mind outta the gutter, people!) so I started knitting a baby blanket. 

Now, since I am on a Clomid break, and not in the full swing of TTCing, because of various reasons (money, identity crisis, to name a couple) I thought I had to change the direction of said blanket. Because it's just depressing me, and remind me of the unsurities that I  am dealing with. 

I have however already purchased a great array of wool, suited to a baby (boy or girl colours) and have already thought up the scheme for it.

So, while I am not twittering, I am making a blanket that is, or is not, for my future baby. And if it has to sit, along with my secret IKEA baby blanket, stashed away in the back corner of my linen closet, so be it.  At least I'll be ready - and it kind of makes me feel pro-active again.   Like, ok, so we're broke, and I can't be on Clomid, or do the trigger shots, or the progesterone after... but I CAN eat better, continue to not smoke(which the knitting TOTALLY helps with by the way), try to excersize ( which I have yet to manage to do- by the time I walk up the big hill out side our building after a dog walk, I'm officially K.O)... and, I CAN make my spirit baby a blanket. 

Pictures to come :)